Milliebeanz

All - It's true I am moving...

... to a new website. One all of my own!

Check it out at www.milliebeanz.co.uk

See you soon!

M x

When that time comes
And there's nothing left to try
Remember that ole promise
Please just let me die

When no miracle has appeared
When all the hope has gone
when prayers haven't been answered
Please don't let me live on

If all that's left is machinery
Just beeps and tubes and wires
Remember that ole promise
And release me to the fires

Please don't wait and watch 
Me disappear, grow weak and fade away
just think and remember all the good times before this evil day

Memories will live forevermore
Like when we danced in the rain
Or the time at a party
Believe in laughter no more pain

When the time comes
And there are no more tears to cry
Remember that ole promise
And go, don't watch me die

Go on in to the future 
Walk fast your head held high
Just keep on going forward
There is a whole new life to try

Millie Jan 2012*

*after watching creator!

Let's not

Let's not dwell on the past
It's gone, its over it was never meant to last

And

Let's not focus on the future
It going to happen anyway
Let's celebrate today!

Let's celebrate the here, the now and the present
Remember, for in the future we will repent

Let's not observe what is ugly, the unpleasant and the wrongs
Let's not interfere with other people, their lives and their going ons

Let us just stand, relax, take a breath and be still
Pause for a moment, close your eyes if you will

Savour this moment, this minute, this hour, it will not last,
for in a blink of an eye, it's gone, relegated to our past

Ready to be forgotten in our speed and our haste
Memories discarded like yesterday's waste

Don't panic the future will come along soon enough

And then.

We can worry about all that grown up stuff

But

Let's not forget the here and now
Just enjoy have fun, anyway any how!

Firstly, happy new year to one and all!

Unfortunately, due to another bout of sickness, I have once again been confined to the NHS for a period of time. This time was a new record of 17 days before escaping, I mean getting discharged!

For a change I was imprisoned in Leicester Royal Infirmary - Let me just say OMG!! And ye all the upper-case letters and exclamation marks were warranted!

I have had my eyes opened (& many other orifices but that is another story!) to lots of the inner workings of the NHS! For a supposedly Leicester Group there are marked differences between LRI and the General. I hope to never experience the Glenfield if that's okay! as that is mainly for hearts and so far mine seems to be working well!

I had pre-written a lot of this in my squiggle or handwriting about the cleanliness but having decided that I am not going to let things get to me - this blog will now be a lot shorter! However if you followed me on Farcebook you will already have played name that food & guess where the next needle is going...

I also probably do not make the most patient patient! But understand that I amused many people with my hallucinated texts and phone calls and apologies to those I scared. I would also like to have any interesting story lines sent back as these could be best sellers! I also want kudo for nearly reaching a temp of 40 degrees! 39.9 was my best!

However - to what I am really getting at -

I have also met some amazing people, there were the usual Angels & Demons, some amazing nurses and Doctors as well as some who just really....!

I also met some inspiring patients who are overcoming some terrible times and still smiling. Charlotte was the best friend I could have asked for, and really helped me come to terms with things as well as stopping me from getting low and sitting in my cave!

Which led me to meeting Matt Hampson (http://www.matthampson.co.uk/) & you have this in writing that I am going to dedicate some of my time this year to fundraising. I was also extremely grateful for the opportunity to take some photos and feel almost like my normal self! Well as normal as I ever was! So watch this space as I WILL be organising something!



I would also like to thank friends old and new for standing by me / putting up with me & special mention to Ze, Bob & Kate who would not let me spend NYE on my own in a grump!

I am not going to make any resolutions as it seems to set me up to fail, will continue to try to make the most of everything.

I would also like to make a quick mention to all the people who have helped me gain the confidence to get on stage and perform, as well as the fellow poets from The Stand and to the Core, Corby for all the opportunities and the chance to meet some awesome people.

Goodbye 2011, I learnt a lot - hello 2012 lets see where it goes!

M x